Five and a half to seven and a half weeks to go, and we have one very big item crossed off the list. We’ve decided on a doula.
Why a doula, you ask? (Pretend you asked even if you didn’t.) Because we’ve never done this before. Because we maintain a healthy skepticism for a profession whose history is all about pathologizing a largely non-pathological process. And because we’ve never done this before. Did I say that already? Y’all, I’m about to perform a magic trick the likes of which I can’t even imagine, and I won’t even know how to do it until I’m doing it. I wouldn’t mind having someone there with an instruction manual, maybe some flow charts and diagrams, you know?
Also, having a doula is a really good way to avoid the kinds of things I’d like to avoid, like a c-section. There are a lot of studies out there that show that a doula has a positive effect on labor and delivery outcomes for lower-income women with no other support available, but their usefulness is by no means so constrained. Consider, for example, this recent study on middle-income first-time mothers in uncomplicated pregnancies who were accompanied by a male partner in labor. A doula showed up for each mom at the hospital (never having met the mom previously), and stayed throughout labor and delivery. And the doulas did what doulas do: “…close physical proximity, touch, and eye contact with the laboring woman, and teaching, reassurance, and encouragement of the woman and her male partner.”*
So what happened? 13.4% of the women with doulas had cesareans, while 25.0% of the women in the control group had cesareans. Of those women whose labor was induced, the rates were 12.5% and 58.8% respectively. The rates for use of epidural aren’t as starkly contrasted, but are still lower for the doula group: 64.7% versus 76%.
Through all the conversations I’ve had about birthing successes and horror stories, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’d rather do this thing totally au naturel, but I’m much less averse to pain relief than to medical interventions (any substance or procedure intended to speed the process up), with c-section taking the Most Dreaded honors. Call me crazy, but ending forty weeks of gestation with major abdominal surgery doesn’t sound like a cherry on top. I think it says something that I would much rather have a Mack truck driven through my nether regions than have my belly cut open. But anyway.
That’s what we’re going for with the doula. I’ll update you in late May, but I’m pretty sure it’ll have been a few hundred bucks very well spent.
*Something to consider for another time: the therapeutic effects of the mere presence of someone, anyone in times of distress, even if that someone doesn’t say a word and just sits in the corner. Provided, I guess, that their presence is reassuring rather than creepy.
I’m training to be a doula. I think its a wonderful idea for many first time parents. After having 3 unmedicated (and one labor lasting 54 hours) of my own I can say you need a birth plan-if not wrote out in yours and your husbands head. I’m not sure if your doing it natural or not but know the things you do (and don’t want to) do during labor. They will be instrumental if you have discussed them previously.
The “birth plan” conversation is still on my to-do list with my OBs–I will have to make a better effort to bring it up at my next visit, and the one after, and the one after…
Insofar as we have a birth plan, it’s pretty simple, and both of us know backwards and forwards what it entails: staying at home as long as possible/as is comfortable before showing up to the hospital; trying every non-medical tactic to move labor along and relieve pain before acquiescing; and doing whatever’s possible to stave off the need for a c-section. And most importantly, remembering that nothing will go exactly as planned and however a healthy baby gets here at the end is how it’s “supposed” to work out.
Good luck with your doula training!
i said the same thing about c-sections and wanting a natural birth. then they had to induce and all went to hell! after about 50 hours i was begging for the c-section! haha. in my defense, my blood pressure was at 191/110 and the baby was stuck in the birth canal after 2 and a half hours of pushing. i do kinda feel like i missed out on my birth experience though and wish it had gone differently. but once the baby comes out you really don’t care how he got here! (or she)
I think with you and Zee both, if you’re in labor for more than 18 hours and end up with a c-section, you didn’t miss out on any “birth experience.” If I get lucky and follow in Mom’s and JJ‘s footsteps with a short labor (please, God, please), you’ll have outdone me for sure.
I also wanted a natural labor, but in the end, I asked for an epidural at 7cm, after several hours of intense back labor.
Before, I thought I’d feel like a failure if I couldn’t hang in there and deliver naturally. And at the time, I kind of felt like I needed to justify my change of heart to everyone involved, or else they would think I was a total wuss for changing my mind. (They didn’t.)
After, I realized how much the epidural helped me focus. It actually sped up my labor, because I was finally able to breathe during and relax between contractions. It was the total opposite of what I expected, and I don’t regret it one bit.
(Disclaimer: I’m pretty sure it was a low dose epidural – I could still feel everything and move my legs, only my back didn’t hurt anymore. Also, I may have proposed to the anesthesiologist.)
I think next time I’ll still plan to do it naturally, but if I have back labor again, I won’t beat myself up if I need some relief.
Long story short: if you change your mind halfway through, don’t feel bad for not sticking to your plan. Childbirth is an incredible experience, and it’s full of surprises. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or expects – it’s all about you!
In the conversation we had with our doula this weekend, she said the same thing about epidurals–sometimes they’re a great option, since they allow you to actually relax and get over that last hump.
I’m generally averse to taking much of anything for pain, but that one time I had a monster headache that I really and truly believed was going to do me in…until I took a darvocet and all was right with the world again (after 10 hours of the most restful sleep of my life)…that’s etched into my memory right alongside my stubborn insistence on not taking anything unless I can’t imagine anything else working.
btw, love your photos!
Thanks! I’m still learning how to use my camera, and it’s pretty hit or miss when it comes to photos turning out the way I see them in my head. I also spend a lot of time these days getting drool on the zoom lens display cases at Best Buy, because I wants. Oh, I wants.
Hope you’re enjoying the Nikon D90! THAT’S a camera it should be legal to marry.